Just Nonsense

It's Friday bitches! You know what that means... it’s Just Nonsense time!

To avoid being a movie cliché and carrying a box full of my personal belongings out of my office, I am slowly starting to take my shit home in preparation for my early August departure from [redacted]. Do you know how much useless shit not only on my computer but in my desk drawers I’ve collected in the almost five years I’ve been here? An embarrassing amount of nonsense. I have 2 candles, a roll of toilet paper (?), a toothbrush, toothpaste, a Frisbee, 2 headbands, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, face lotion, a grilling kit, a brown paper bag, 47 Ready Made Magazines, 1 Pink Emergen-C packet, 1 Liquid Emotion by Bobbie Townsend CD, 400 salt and pepper packets, a picture of 2 interns and the list goes on… Why I have any of this stuff is really beyond me. I’m guessing about 98.6% of it will be in the can very shortly.

I enjoy the Fourth of July. I, like everyone else in Pittsburgh, am obsessed with fireworks and parades. I’m pretty sure Pittsburgh can’t celebrate an event without either fireworks or a parade and I think that is fantastic. I will watch a parade that is 5 minutes long celebrating pierogies just because it’s a parade. I will also watch fireworks regardless how long the show is. Yes, I will complain about how short it was after, but during those minutes the sky is being lit up, I will be happy. Despite the fact that I like fireworks and parades, the main reason I like the Fourth of July is because of the picnic food. Similar to any kind of dip, I will eat the hell out of picnic food. Potato salad? Yes! Corn on the cob? Yes! Baked beans? Yes! Hot dogs? Duh! Cheeseburgers? Duh again! Should I go on? Watermelon? Yes! Watermelon soaked in vodka? Do I really need to answer? I mean I can’t think of a better food category than “picnic food”. All I know is the party I’m going to has all the tools to be fantastic… pool, booze, me… the one thing I’m not sure about is the quality of picnic food. So they better get their shit together and have all my favorite picnic food and not ruin my Fourth!

Monday starts my “quit being lazy and start working out” regimen. I stopped working out over a year ago and have missed it dearly. For whatever reason I couldn’t bring myself to work out in any way, shape or form. I’m ready to change that. So Monday I’m going to start running, taking advantage of the gym in my building and find a yoga studio to sweat to death in. I’m making all sorts of changes that will hopefully align the way I want them too. Also I need to keep this rock hard bod in mint condition in case I’m walking down the street and the sexiness happens.

SONG OF THE DAY: The Nationals & St. Vincent - Sleep All Summer (just in case)

THIS TIME LAST YEAR: Just Nonsense


This week in survival tips...

How to Take a Punch in the Stomach
1. Tighten your stomach muscles. A blow to the gut (solar plexus) can damage organs and kill.
2. Do not suck in your stomach. Doing so increases the risk of internal injury.
3. Shift slightly so that the blow hits your side, but do not flinch or move away from the punch. Moving away only give the punch more momentum. Try to absorb the blow with your obliques, the set of muscles on your side that wraps around your ribs.